A personal God
I don't have a personal God in the way that all this LORD stuff would suggest,
but I certainly do believe in some impersonal force of moral imperative, by
whatever name. I have said many times and in many places that my own sense of
what God might be wavers and changes and gets lost on many days.
Which is kinda interesting. Whereas I wouldn't really argue for using the word 'Lord' for the Divine, I do experience God as personal.
As much as I know it's not rational, and not fashionable, God does feel like something that I can communicate with like a Friend. At times I've really tried just to experience Oneness and Silence but what comes out of the silence is a something. A something communicating love, compassion and humour. There are times (usually when I've been reading theology) when I despair that there is too much to understand about Life and Religion, that I'll never be able to understand one tradition, let alone all of them. At those times I eventually give up trying to understand anything and submit. I go to silence, to trusting in the flow of things. What, when it comes down to it, can I trust? What do I know, in my bones? That there is a something and that this something, amazingly, is benevolent. Somehow, it loves me.
I guess ultimately what I am talking about is Universalism, the mystical heart of Universalism. The conviction (so strong it can get you on a horse riding across the country to tell people about it) that somehow, ultimately, there is no need for despair. There is something to trust. Love is possible, and it is within you. The Depth of Life is not indifferent but somehow wishes well for us. Longs for our happiness and for justice and peace. I don't know how, I don't know why, but I do trust it.